Results

I have been thinking about a few interesting things lately.  I feel as if I need to be very sensitive with this post though. I do not mean to offend anyone or step on anyone's toes.  I am not passing judgement in anyway, I am simple just making an observation.

I will provide two examples:

1. There is a girl who is a good LDS girl who has a hard time talking to and meeting new people so she just chooses to exclude herself in certain activities because she is afraid of that interaction.  She hangs out with the same people and if she does go out, she goes with those same people, stays with those same people, and leaves with those same people.  She feels that she doesn't have many friends and that it's impossible to meet new people.  She sometimes likes things that some people don't and she thinks that she doesn't have as many friends, because of that.

2. There is a good LDS girl who is sometimes shy, but will put herself in situations that would help her meet new people and help her get over that shyness. She has a good group of friends and she will go out with them, but she is always adding people to that group when they go out.  She feels like she has a lot of friends and that she is always meeting new people.  She likes some things that are not typical and she feels it makes her unique and people like her more for it.

A quote comes to mind when I think of example one:  If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten.

Now, There is nothing wrong with having a tight knit group of friends and keeping it that way.  If that's how you like it, then to each it's own!  However, I am doing this post because there are people who are living like #1 and complaining that they don't get asked out as much as #2, or they don't have as many friends, or they don't do as much, no one goes out of their way to help them but will do anything for #2.

When you want certain results, you have to do certain things to get there. So you want to make more friends? Let's start simple, go to institute. So #1 and #2 go to institute.  #1 says that they are doing everything that #2 is doing and just not getting the same results because it has something to do with HER, However, let's look at it a bit more closely. #2 is sitting in the middle or front of the room and stays after for a few minutes and interacts with others. #1 shows up and sits in the back and leaves as soon as it ends. That isn't giving anyone the opportunity to talk to you or giving the message that you want to talk to anyone.
There's nothing wrong with #1. No doubt, she is such an incredible person, but she is frustrated that she isn't getting the results that she wants to be getting.
In order to achieve the results that she wants, she doesn't have to change who she is as a person at all, she just needs to make certain adjustments to her behaviors.  She will have to step outside her comfort zone a bit.  Some people confuse "stepping out of your comfort zone" and "changing yourself to please others".  There is a huge difference, I feel.  You can't live your life in comfort 24/7.  You will have to do something that scares you sometimes to gain a greater reward. You can step out of your comfort zone and still be true to who you are.

Honestly, what it comes down to, is if you want certain results, you have to make an honest effort to achieve them.  Not just an effort, (showing up, staying in the back, leaving right away) but an HONEST effort (sitting by someone new, staying afterwards to mingle).  You can always achieve the results you want.  You decide the kind of life you want to live, and then live that way and don't complain about the bed you've made when it comes time to sleep in it.
Life is way too short to wish you were living some other way. Go out there and make it happen!